The Crutch Girl takes on the Gym – Week 10

This week I added another first since my ACI.  The firsts have been slowing down a bit lately so I’m happy to have one to report about.  THE GYM!!!  A place in which I frequented often before my surgeries, but lately have only been seeing it show up on my online bank account. L  Gotta love paying for things you don’t use.  Brad and I decided it was about time for both of us to get back into the swing of things, especially with a couple cruises coming up.  Yes you heard me right, 2 cruises….Now I know everyone who reads this will be green with envy, but I would gladly give you my two cruises if you would have stepped in and had the ACI for me J.

Brad and I pulled into the parking spot in front of the gym.  You would think we would use the handicap spot but believe it or not there are some parking spots that get you closer to the front door than the gimpy spots.  Once inside it took 10 minutes to get past the front desk girl who told me how dedicated I was showing up to the gym on crutches and wanted to know all about the cause.  Correction – It is not dedication that got me to go into the gym this week, it was sheen boredom from staying at home combined with how my body has changed (and not in the most glamorous way).  Once I got past her it was a clear path to the bike to start my warm up.  I had wondered if I would get stares from other gym goers because I was on crutches, but I’m happy to report no such stares occurred.  Unless you count the look and smile from an elderly man sporting a cane…I think he was just happy there was another gimp around.  Once Brad was satisfied that I wouldn’t fall off the bike he left to start his routine, while I cycled away for 10 minutes.  I then proceeded to the “girl” section of the gym (the weight machines) because I didn’t feel like beating the body builders with my crutches to claim a free weight spot.  And I felt I was less likely to fall over while on a machine.  And after 20 minutes and only 5 machines I was ready to die.  Not kidding I could have passed out on the gym floor if I was sure I wouldn’t contract some nasty disease.  But all in all the trip was good…it made my rehab the next day a little tougher because of sore muscles, but I’m happy to report death did not occur and my regular scheduled blogging will continue. 

Today at rehab I was able to put 75% of my weight on my leg.  It was super exciting!!  And kinda scary.  Since my surgery on March 16 everyone has told me multiple times to BE CAREFUL and that my knee is in protection mode.  So when they tell me to go ahead and walk with 75% of my weight, it almost feels like a cruel joke.  At this point the cartilage in my knee is a spongy material so I still have to be careful not to twist or jam my knee, but it is able to hold some weight.  Chris also told me that I can drop down to 1 session a week since I was going to the gym now (ok he told me I didn’t have to come in till June 7 when I am full weight bearing, but I wasn’t ready to break up with them yet so I kept one session for next week…you know just in case…I did have a relapse a few weeks ago and I don’t want that to happen again). 

Until my next session I will continue to do life with one crutch.  I can already tell my leg/knee gets worn out quicker so again I have to be careful how much I can take on.  But I can tell my quad is getting stronger and am able to control my leg more and lift it to positions I was not able to do so before.  It helps out tremendously while showering and shaving my legs!  You know what I’m talking about ladies!  Also one of the best decisions I have made lately was to quit my job at an interior design store and start my own business so I could focus on my rehab.  If you are able to take off a full 3 months for this surgery please do so!!!  I am the master of my own schedule and I feel that can only help with my recovery.  10 weeks down!  Progress!

½ My Weight is Still More than a 5th Grader! Week 8 & 9

I’m behind on my blogging…which I take as a good sign because I’m regaining parts of my life back and well folks I’m just getting busy J.  Week 8 was written last week just FYI.

Week 8

This week I have been upgraded to using half of my body weight on my bad leg as I crutch.  I’m still using 2 crutches for now, but at 75% body weight I will be using just 1 crutch!  Praise the Lord!  I’ll be able to carry things with my free hang instead of shoving my clothes full of stuff.  But for now let the shoving and back pack carrier continue for 2 more weeks.  It feels very odd to have ½ my weight on my bum leg, it definitely makes the crutching much slower.  Mostly because I really have to think about what does ½ my weight feel like when crutching…it’s not like I have a scale with me with every step to make sure I don’t go over.  I have to guess the amount of a 5th grader then decide if my leg will take on that weight.  After 8 weeks I can say that the bottom of my foot is less tingly now that I’m putting more weight on it, which is good because for a while there I was afraid I would eat dirt every time I tried to walk!  My foot doesn't turn quite as blue as fast now either.  Don’t get me wrong after too long of time I still become kin to a smurf if I don’t get it elevated.  After 8 weeks my scar has become a strange purple color and is around 5-6” long depending on how bent my knee is.  I ordered SwarAway from Amazon to lessen its appearance, but it’s a 12 week program so I’ll have to let you know later if it works…here’s hoping!    

Week 9 – Death to Fuzzy….AGAIN!

As I reported before I had to take Fuzzy back because my flexion was decreasing from the 120’s to 115.  After only one week of CPMing (yes I totally just made that a verb!) My flexion jumped to 125 and 126 J.  Very happy!!  I continued to use it for the next week, but really the only thing it helped me to do was rest more.  Since the machine only goes to 110 it doesn’t help your knee if you are pass that.  So I turned him in again so he can torture another patient.  This week I was able to hit 135 and 137 on my flexion and most of that is due to stretching.  I put my foot on the 3rd step on my stairs (or my kitchen chair when I don’t feel like using the stairs) and I lean into the stretch.  It looks kinda like the creepy guy stretching at the gym to impress the ladies but since I am neither at a gym nor a dude I’m ok with the creepiness!   

I’m still only allowed to put 50% of my weight on my leg while crutching and I have to say it’s so tempting to go to 1 crutch.  There is no pain when I put the weight down which is amazing!  Although I kinda sorta used one crutch yesterday (Don’t tell my PTs!!) to go to a natural food store to load up on my gluten free foods.  (Yes another annoying part of my life).  If my PTs do end up reading this I will confess I used the cart as my other crutch.  Now see doesn’t that make you feel better.  Although funny story about my first shopping trip….I parked in my handicapped spot (which I get to do till June 30 almost 3 weeks after I’m full weight baring and FYI I’m going to enjoy every minute of it even if I get death stares from the Grandparents of the world who wanted that parking spot!) and hobbled to the front of the store.  Just as I was about 10 feet from the door a car dropped off a man who was on crutches too.  We had that awkward staring contest, and then we both smiled and hobbled in to the store at the same time.  Gotta say it was hard to get the sympathy looks when I was only using 1 crutch and a cart while this guy was on 2 and had a boot on his foot.  All in all it was a good first trip to the store by myself.  When I got back into the car I texted my husband, “YES I did it myself!!”  It’s the small victories in life right now, and it’s progress.  

The Mental Side….

I want to write about the mental side of this surgery, something in which cannot be fully understood unless you have traveled the same road.  Not being able to walk without the aid of crutches for 3 months sounds annoying on paper, but is also depressing and painful in real life.  So much so I need to give myself a pep talk almost every morning that this too will be over at some point and I pray that my knee will be healed.  I can no longer jump out of bed to go do things or retrieve something.  Every one of my steps has to be planned out and I have to look for obstacles in my way that would trip me up.  And forget carrying anything for a great distance.  I have figured out how to stuff my clothes with things (thanks to my adult sippy cup and the aid of zip lock backs to carry food!).  My back pack also helps me get things from one room to another which is a great help even though I look like a college student cramming for finals.

My husband said it best, “In what way does it make sense to cut someone open to make them better?”  They have to rip open my skin to see what is hiding in the depths.  And after they do this there are no guarantees that my knee will fully recover, just good odds.  Every day I look at my scar and try to imagine all the things the doctors have done to my knee just underneath the surface to bring healing.  I cannot see what they have done, I can only feel the painful effects and hope on the promise of healing and new life. 

Isn’t this just like my relationship with my Creator?  Sometimes I feel I do not see Him in my life, but He is always just underneath my surface.  And I am reminded that He is working because of my scars I bear for Him.  I feel pain of the fire as He refines and molds me.  He has to cut me open and expose my hidden sinful depths before I can begin the long process of changing my character.  He promises healing and new life just as my doctors have for my knee, but praise the Lord He has better odds than my knee recovery does!   Healing from this is not easy, I have to do the work to get to my end goal.  I cannot sit back and “let” life happen.  I have to be an active participant in my life and make the hard decisions to keep going.  It is very painful, but I am not alone.  You are not alone. 

Surrounding me is great support during this strange stage of my life, and I want to thank every one of them.  Thank you for reminding me that this too shall pass, and I will be stronger because of it.        

For today this blog serves as my pep talk, that as of now (almost 2 months in) I cannot walk without crutches but I will soon.   

Resurrection of Fuzzy – Week 7

This has been my first week without my beloved CPM machine, aka Fuzzy.  The upside of this is I have more time to myself that isn't spent in my bed.  This week was another first; I dropped down to just 2 days of rehab a week.  And the last first of this week…….drum roll please….my flexion has dropped from 127 last week to a measly 115 both Monday and Thursday.  So needless to say this week has been a bad week for my knee.  It’s been a great week for my attitude and general outlook on my life during this rehab time.  Two steps forward, 1 step back. L 

However all the upsets I did received the news today that Fuzzy has been resurrected and someone will drop him off to my house tomorrow!  I’ve missed him so much!  I wonder how much he has changed over the past week??  I know I’ve dropped 4 lbs and am totally excited to tell him all about it!  Haha ok I’m not that excited but at this point I’m willing to do whatever it takes to regain motion and strength of my leg.  I will not CPM the whole day like before…I’ve gotten used to having a life this week and I don’t want to give that up, but I will do it for like 4 hours a day in hopes to get my flexion back up. 

My horrible flexion number also means I’ll be going back to 3x a week for rehab.  And I'm just sure Chris and Melissa miss me and I don’t want to disappoint them. :)  I think they think I’m a hot mess because today I had a fight with the bike machine in which I lost and hobbled away bleeding.  Seriously Chris had to put on a Band-Aid on and everything!  He also decided to wear gloves while doing it....haha not much action on the PT floor I guess.  Then when I got set up on the weight machine my crutches fell and made the loudest noise!!  I just smiled and apologized to the onlookers.  At this point I think nothing I do surprises my PTs or fellow rehabers (is that a word?).